On a mission from God

   A rather incredible letter to the editor ran in our Podunk Press last week. The writer accepts the invitation of another lunatic “to collaborate with him in his effort to rid our schools of atheistic teachings.” The use of the verb “collaborate” sets the tone for the whole letter.

   The writer is honored by the invitation “from a man as well known in this area for his level-headed, plebian (sic) approach to issues.” The man is, indeed, well-known, as a demagogic wing-nut who has all but called President Obama, among other things, a terrorist sympathizer and a baby killer.

   The writer is sure that his collaborator-to-be has “amassed volumes of information on people” over the years, and he calls on him to send him a “list of the known atheist teachers in our schools.” He cautions him to avoid mere hearsay, as the ACLU frowns on “witch hunts.” (Quotation marks are his.) A few lines are worth citing:
   “I will need actual, documented statements from students who feel that their rights were violated by a teacher who told them there was no God, or possibly ridiculed them for holding a particular religious belief. It will be especially poignant if the teacher tried to lead the student in an atheist prayer of some kind. Even if they said nothing, but put atheistic symbols in their classrooms, or wore jewelry that indicated ‘There is no God’ or ‘Jesus is a myth’, will be helpful evidence.”

   The letter is so extravagantly paranoid and loony (for example, what might an “atheist prayer” sound like? And do they make atheist jewelry?) that one has to wonder if the writer is serious. Even if he is, laughter is still the best response, for now. So let’s strike up the band, sit back and enjoy it—two of our community’s stalwarts are, like the Blues Brothers, on a mission from God.